I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
