it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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