it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
