Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
As shirtless as possible
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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