Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
