But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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