That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
