I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
