If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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