So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
