Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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