seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
