you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
