Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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