Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
