so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
