the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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