there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
