Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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