literally had 100 drinks last night.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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