:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
