i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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