apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
