I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
