Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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