I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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