how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We have so much sex to catch up on
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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