I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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