Don't make out with my wife yet
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
