the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
