I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
