I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
