She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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