there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
