Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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