once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
