I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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