Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
