he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
