lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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