I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
