Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
