So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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