I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
