The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
