And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
