Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
