Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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