Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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