Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
